Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
