I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
