East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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