god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize