Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
