I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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