if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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