when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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