You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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