Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
