guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
