what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
