Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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