Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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