My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
