fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
