Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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