ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
