so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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