Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
