so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize