I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize