Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
