dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
