He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
