i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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