I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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