I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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