Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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