after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
