We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
