I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
