Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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