Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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