At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
