i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
