Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
