There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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