im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
there was a trapeze. enough said
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
