As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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