first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
