martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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