google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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