You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
