My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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