Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
