I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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