woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
