is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
