I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
