I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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