thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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