He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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