dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize