His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
