So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
