In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
