I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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