I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
