You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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