So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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