The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize