She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
