That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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