i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
