Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize