we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Operation Purity has been aborted
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
